Sr. Milada of the Savior of the World, OCD
The Martin Family
Even after their wedding, Zélie and Louis tried to live entirely for God. "Our parents were exceptionally pious," Marie later testified in the canonization process. "They went daily to the first Mass at half past five, which was called the Mass for the Poor." 1 They received Holy Communion four to five times a week, which was quite frequent during the time of Jansenist piety (when respect for the sacraments became so exaggerated that they were rarely received). Sundays among them were observed with puritanical strictness. In addition, Marie recalled that their parents would not permit any travel on that day, "even useful ones." They also observed all prescribed fasts. "Our mother, physically weaker and more fragile, kept the fast of penance just like our father. She fundamentally did not use any dispensations that had already been permitted. That is not for good Christians." 2 Morning and evening prayers were a matter of course for their parents. Their respect for the Virgin Mary and St. Joseph was especially great. They often helped the poor and taught their children to do the same (cf. AS 32; AS 40).
It is obvious that the Martins were also marked by the time in which they lived: Catholics were then pushed out of political and social life, and the Church was forced into a defensive posture. This led to a contempt for the "world" within the Martin family; everything worldly was forbidden to them. The monastery was regarded as a model and peak of Christian life – hence they imitated monastic piety so much. Even though this style greatly influenced the outward religious life of the family, it did not corrupt the source of their authentic faith.
A life intensely focused on following Christ, however, did not mean that a deep and tender relationship did not exist between the Martins. Therese once likened their family to a family of lilies, in which each member lives entirely for Jesus – "How our hearts rejoice at the thought that our family loves Jesus so tenderly. That is my constant comfort. Is our family not a virgin family, a family of lilies...?" (DT 104) 3 – but love for God gave the Martin couple the strength to love each other with a marital love that was all the greater and purer. "How happy I am with my husband,... (...) Yes, my husband is a holy man. I wish such a man for every woman," – this is how Zélie once confided to her brother. 4
The strength of the spiritual bond between the couple was most apparent when they were physically separated. During a visit to relatives in Lisieux, Mrs. Martin wrote to her husband: "My dear Louis, we arrived here yesterday at half past four. My brother was already waiting for me at the station and was very pleased to see us again. He and his wife are trying to make us feel at home. Today, Sunday evening, there was a great welcome in our honor. Tomorrow we will go to Trouville, on Tuesday there is again a great feast at Mrs. Maudelond's and a ride to Mrs. Fournet's awaits us. 5 The children are very excited. If the weather is nice, it will surely be beautiful. However, I am sorry that money is being wasted here. Nothing pleases me about it. I feel just like your fish that you pull from the water. They are torn from their element and perish. I would also perish here if I had to stay longer. I do not feel well; in short, I am not where I belong. And that also affects my physical well-being. I feel almost ill. And yet I am trying to be reasonable and rise above all of this. In spirit, I am with you all day long and keep telling myself: he is doing this now, he is doing that now! I long for you very much, my dear Louis. From the depths of my heart, I love you and I feel that my love has doubled with this separation. (...) If possible, I will write to you again tomorrow. (...) We will return home on Wednesday at half past five. Oh, how long is it until then! With love, I embrace you. The children send their regards, saying they are glad to travel with me, and send you many kisses." 6
Mr. Martin was more restrained in writing; nevertheless, the same tenderness shines through in his letters: "Dear friend, I cannot come to Alençon sooner than Monday; time seems long to me, and I cannot wait to be close to you. I need not tell you how much your letter delighted me. I just regret that you have to work so hard. Please, take time to rest. (...) I was fortunate to be able to go to Holy Communion at the Shrine of Our Lady of Victory in Paris. I felt as if I were in a little earthly paradise. On behalf of our whole family, I offered a candle there. I embrace you with all my heart and look forward to being together again soon. I hope Marie and Pauline are sensible. Your husband and true friend, who loves you with all his heart." 7
Family History
Mr. Martin initially thought that God wanted him to live with his wife as brother and sister in the manner of St. Joseph's marriage to the Virgin Mary. Only after discussing with one wise priest did he change his mind. And the Lord blessed them with nine children. The first born on February 22, 1860, was Marie Louise, later Sister Marie of the Most Sacred Heart, Therese's godmother. All the children were consecrated to the Virgin Mary from birth. On December 8, Zélie Martin prayed to the Immaculate Virgin Mary for the second child. She was heard, and on September 7, 1861, their second daughter, Marie Pauline, later Mother Agnes of Jesus, Therese's "second mother," was born. Pauline inherited the looks and the mental qualities of her mother more than all the daughters. The third child, Marie Léonie, was born on June 3, 1863, later Sister of Francis Therese from the Order of the Visitation of the Virgin Mary in Caen. This daughter lagged physically and mentally behind her sisters.8 The mother had to take special care of her. When the fourth child, Marie Hélène, was born on October 13, 1864, Zélie was already so weak that she could not breastfeed her child herself. The little daughter was therefore entrusted to a wet nurse in the countryside.
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Zélie's Struggles
Soon after, Mrs. Martin's health began to deteriorate, and so she asked her brother for advice: "As you know, I once hit my chest against the corner of a table when I was a young girl. At that time, I paid no attention to it, but now I have observed some kind of swelling or tumor on my breast that worries me since it has started to hurt. What can be done about this? Can you imagine how scared I am? It's not that I am afraid of surgery; I am determined to undergo it, but I have no trust in the local doctors. I would very much like the surgery to be in Paris, and that it should be when you are there, for you could be a great support to me. Only one thing is holding me back: what would my husband do here?" 9
However, this surgery did not take place. We do not know what the cause was. Two months later, influenced by another event, Zélie contemplated deeply about death: "Yesterday at one o'clock my father-in-law died. Last Thursday he received the sacrament of the sick and died like a saint. I never thought it would affect me so much. I am still trembling... I admit to you, death frightens me. I observed my father-in-law at his deathbed, and when I imagine that the same fate will one day befall me or my loved ones..." 10 The mentioned tumor, discovered in 1865, then intensified significantly eleven years later, in October 1876. By then, however, the doctors considered Zélie's condition hopeless.
Mrs. Martin was overwhelmed not only by the worries of home and the growing number of children but also by her business, her shop. In her correspondence, she repeatedly complained about it to her brother: "This night work torments my life. If I have many orders, I am a miserable slave. But when I have nothing to do, and completed lace worth 20,000 francs is lying here, I am forced to send workers whom I have painstakingly trained 11 to other manufacturers. Then I suffer and feel as if the entire Alps were lying on me. What can I change about that? It must be endured, and I must bravely take up my daily cross." 12 And again: "I have quite a lot of troubles and worries with the Alençon lace trade. It is the crown of my suffering. I do earn a little money, but at what cost! It is at the expense of my life, for I feel that my earthly days are shortening. If the kind Lord God does not help me, I will not live long. If I did not have to raise my children, this would concern me little, and I would welcome death as the dawn of a wonderfully rising day. I often think of my sister in the quiet and peaceful convent. She does not work for earthly goods but gathers treasures for heaven. And what about me? I try to earn money with the work of my hands, from which I can take nothing with me, nor would I want to. What would I do with it? Sometimes I regret not having followed in my sister's footsteps, but then I tell myself, you would not have your four lovely daughters and your dear husband. No, it is for the best that I stand precisely where I am." 13
Over time, however, she found the right way and measure in her business: "When I started my lace business, I became ill from it. In the meantime, I have become wiser. I am ready to take on everything unpleasant that comes my way. I tell myself: 'Dear Lord, You allow it,' and I do not ponder it further. He gives me the grace not to be afraid, and therefore I am quite calm. He is indeed a good Father and does not lay more on people than they can bear." 14
Growth in Surrender
Even though Zélie learned to endure the suffering connected with work, far greater and deeper pains awaited her, caused by the departure of those dearest to her. The Martins faced a period of life in which moments of joyful anticipation often alternated with pain that could only be borne through surrender to God's will. Zélie and Louis longed for a son whom God would call to the priesthood. They prayed to St. Joseph, and on September 20, 1866, their fifth child, a son, Maria Joseph Louis, was born. He too had to be sent to a wet nurse in the countryside, and after half a year, he died of a severe cold on February 14, 1867. The parents did not give up their desire, so they again performed a novena to St. Joseph, which ended on March 19, 1867. Nine months later (December 19, 1867), their son Maria Joseph John the Baptist was born. However, this sixth child also died three-quarters of a year later (August 24, 1868). The Martins accepted it with surrender to God's will and no longer asked for a son. But the suffering did not pass. Not even a month later, on September 3, 1868, Mrs. Martin's father, who had moved in with them in his old age, died. Zélie was deeply affected by all these wounds. However, her gaze was constantly turned towards God. "It seems obvious to me that I suffer," 15 she wrote to her sister-in-law.
But already two months later, Mrs. Martin confided to her brother about her new maternal happiness: "What do you say, we are having another child. It is true, only may I not face any misfortune before that. If dear Lord God wanted to take me with this child, I have only one wish: that it does not die without baptism." 16 Before the birth, however, anxieties intensified again: "You cannot imagine how afraid I am of the future, expecting this little being. It seems to me that this child will follow the previous ones (the little boys) and go after them into eternity. A weight as heavy as the Alps lies on me. However, I assume that the reality will not be worse than my foreboding. If more blows come again, I will rise quickly. But fear is true martyrdom. This morning during Holy Mass, these gloomy thoughts weighed down on me, that I almost lost my balance. The best thing is always to place everything in God's hands and to expect everything future with surrender to His holy will. I try to do so..." 17 The seventh child was born on April 28, 1869. It was again a daughter, Marie Céline, later Sister Geneviève of St. Therese and the Holy Face. She too had to be entrusted to a wet nurse, but the little girl grew and was healthy. Therefore, Zélie joyfully informed Lisieux: "Right now, I have no complaints..." 18
However, in a few months, another blow came. Little Helena (five and a half years old) suddenly fell seriously ill, and despite the doctors' efforts, the child died on February 22, 1870. This death deeply affected the parents: "Neither I nor my husband expected such a sudden end. When he came home and saw the dead child, he wept and cried: 'Oh my Helena! Oh my Helena!' Then, we both offered this suffering to God..." 19 "Sometimes I imagine that just as my little Helena passed away, I too will quietly depart from this life. I assure you that I no longer cling to life. Since the death of this child, I have a burning desire to see her again, but the other children who are still here need me, and for them, I ask the Lord God to let me remain here for a few more years." 20 A sister from the convent encouraged her during those days: "How happy I am when I observe your deep faith and great surrender to God's will. You will one day see the ones you are now mourning in eternity. Your heart is now filled with pain, but your surrender to everything that the Lord sends you pleases Him. Your faith and unwavering trust will one day be wonderfully rewarded. Be assured, the Lord God will bless you and shower you with grace." 21
In this painful time, however, there was once again a new life growing under Mrs. Martin's heart. The eighth child, little Marie Melania Therese, was born on August 16, 1870. However, less than two months later (October 8, 1870), she died – due to a poor wet nurse.22 That same day, Zélie wrote in a letter to her sister-in-law: "What I have suffered is beyond anyone's imagination. I am heartbroken and inconsolable because I loved my child immensely. With each new death, I feel as if this child was the one I loved the most… Oh, if only I could die too! I am so exhausted, I have hardly eaten anything for two days, and I have been in mortal anguish all night." 23
How Zélie Martin processed all these trials is well illustrated by the comforting letter she wrote to her sister-in-law, who lost her third child, son Paul, on October 16, 1871: "This great misfortune that has befallen you has also touched my heart. You have indeed visited a very heavy trial... May the Lord God grant you the grace of surrender to His will. The child is with the Lord God, sees and loves you, and one day you will find him again. This is a great comfort. I have experienced it myself, and I will experience it again. When I pressed my own children’s eyes shut and accompanied them to the cemetery, I experienced true pain, but it was always moderated by surrender to God's will. I do not regret at all for the pains and cares endured for my children. Sometimes I hear people say (about their deceased children): It would be better if they had never existed! Such talk I cannot bear. The pains and cares for children must not come into consideration when we think about their bliss in heaven. In fact, we have only temporarily lost them. How short life is! And in heaven, I will find them again… You see, what a blessing it is to have a little angel in heaven. Yet losing a child is something very painful for our nature. This is where the great sufferings of our earthly life lie." 24
Over time, the number of obligations became unbearable for the parents. Therefore, in 1871, Mr. Martin sold his watch and jewelry business to his nephew Adolf Leriche and began working in his wife’s business. He took over sales traveling, part of the purchasing, and the accounts. They also wanted to buy a larger house for their family, but did not find a suitable one. Eventually, they moved to the house of the late Mr. Guérin in St. Blaise Street No. 42, which Mrs. Martin had inherited. Here, their ninth child, Marie Françoise Therese, that is, Therese, was born on January 2, 1873.
