P. Gorazd Cetkovský, O.Carm.
7. Manuscript B
In September 1896, Thérèse undertook private exercises. Before she immersed herself in them, Sister Marie asked her, according to Thérèse's testimony: to write down her dream1 and her 'little teaching,' as you call it (AS 183). Thérèse did so and only then added2 an introduction stating that God wants to be loved by us alone. The way to Love is the surrender of a little child (AS 182).
In this manuscript B, Thérèse first described her dream to Sister Marie, in which Anna of Jesus (1545–1621) positively answered her question of whether Jesus would come for Thérèse soon, and then assured her that Jesus is pleased with what Thérèse does for Him – with her little deeds and her desires. This was a great comfort for Thérèse.
In the following lines, she elaborated on what her desires are and how strong they are: to be a priest, a warrior, a missionary... And she wrote about the discovery of her vocation – to be in the church with heart and love. She followed up with a metaphor: Jesus is the lighthouse and she is the sailor. But she already knows how to reach the lighthouse (AS 188): I am just a child, weak and powerless. Yet her love gives her the courage to offer herself as a victim for Jesus' love. The following words speak of God's mercy: ... Love chose me as a holocaust, me, a weak and imperfect creature... Is this choice not worthy of Love?... Yes, for Love to be fully satisfied, it must descend, it must descend to nothingness and transform this nothingness into fire... Although she did not use the word "mercy" here, this "humbling of" Love, this Divine "choice of the weak" – that is essentially God's mercy!
Thérèse wants to lighten her heart and repay love with love. She compares herself to a child that is tolerated to have unreasonable bold wishes. While its older siblings do great deeds, it cannot do so and merely stays close to its parents and loves. It can only do small things, small gestures of love – metaphorically: throwing flowers (which means: bringing small sacrifices, doing every little thing out of love), singing a song of love. She stylizes herself as such a little child and asks her big brothers – angels and saints in heaven – to obtain for her double the love they have.
This desire of Thérèse refers to a scripture that is often mentioned in Carmelite tradition because it concerns the lives of the prophets Elijah and Elisha. Elisha asked Elijah before his departure to let a double portion of Elijah's spirit rest upon him (as the firstborn son received when an inheritance was divided in Israel). Thérèse asks the angels and saints for intercession that she be given a double portion of their love. By asking for a double portion of their love, Thérèse brilliantly aims at the core of their own experience. They, in their sanctity, must have realized that the love for God is the most precious, the most useful for others, and the most beautiful for themselves. And Thérèse asks them to obtain for her exactly this love, in which they recognized their treasure...
When Thérèse reflected on her great desires and her smallness, she employed and developed another metaphor: I consider myself a weak little bird, just lightly feathered. This bird longs to fly to the divine Sun, but cannot do so. But it will not be troubled. What will it do? With daring surrender, it wants to continue to look towards the divine Sun.
And it was also very important for her to clearly state how the little bird should behave when it commits infidelity:
“Instead of hiding in a corner3 and weeping over its misery and dying of regret, the little bird will turn to its beloved Sun, will expose its wetted wings to its beneficial rays, anxiously chirping like a swallow, and with its sweet twittering will confide, telling in detail its unfaithfulness. In its daring surrender, it believes that this way it will gain more influence, that it will draw the love of Him who came not to call the righteous, but sinners...” (AS 192.)
Thus, the faith in God's mercy again comes to the fore in Thérèse's thoughts. And further, without directly using the word mercy, she writes: Jesus, allow me to tell you in overwhelming gratitude [!], that your love goes to madness... How can you want my heart not to throw itself at you before this madness? (AS 193.) According to Thérèse, Jesus' madness lies in his mercy, i.e., in his love for the little ones. And the “madness” with which she responds to Jesus is the hope that your love will accept me as a victim (AS 193).
And Thérèse concluded her manuscript B with a strong admonition: merciful Love desires to give itself truly to everyone! “Jesus, may I tell all little souls, how unfathomable is your kindness...! I feel that if you found a soul weaker, more insignificant than mine – which is impossible – you would shower it with even greater manifestations of favor, if it fully entrusted itself to your infinite mercy” (AS 193–194).
8. Subsequent Correspondence with Sister Marie4
When Sister Marie (the recipient of manuscript B) read Thérèse's text, she was greatly affected by its content5 and wrote Thérèse a note on September 17, 1896, the text of which has survived. She repeatedly states that she considers Thérèse's words to be words of great love, and at the same time expresses her sorrow caused in her heart by Thérèse's “extraordinary desires for martyrdom”. Marie saw in them a clear proof of the greatness of Thérèse's love for Jesus and was saddened that she herself feared suffering. In this, she saw evidence of the opposite – that she does not love Jesus like Thérèse does. After all, even when Thérèse wrote about herself that she is just a weak little bird who cannot do anything, her desires still hold weight in God's eyes! Therefore, in her note, Marie asks Thérèse to briefly write to her whether she too can love Jesus as Thérèse does.
Thérèse replied that very evening with a longer letter (DT 197), which contains further valuable clarifications of her thoughts about God's mercy. The question Marie posed to her was a testimony that Marie did not comprehend Thérèse's narration about the helpless little bird. Thérèse responded to her: “My desires for martyrdom are nothing.” Thérèse saw in these desires a spiritual wealth that Jesus gives her simply because she is weak. He bestows them upon her to encourage her. But her desires for martyrdom, according to her, are entirely unrelated to what is most important! So she turned the question back to Marie: “Beloved sister, how can you say after all this that my desires are a sign of my love...? Oh, I feel well that this is not at all what pleases the Lord God in my little soul; He likes that I love my smallness and my poverty, my blind trust in his mercy... That is my only treasure.” And in this urgent tone, she continues further and asks Marie: “Beloved godmother, why could it not also be your treasure...?”
If I understand correctly how the letter continues, Thérèse reassures Marie: I know you are ready to endure everything that the Lord God desires. If you would also like to desire martyrdom, then having this desire would be a comfort to you – well, and the Lord God does not give it to you. So – Thérèse reassures Marie – you are spiritually better off than I am! And she literally writes to her that if in this situation both of them were to endure martyrdom, Marie would have great merit and Thérèse none...
My beloved sister, please understand your daughter, understand that if someone wishes to love Jesus, to be his victim of love, then the weaker, without desires, and without virtues they are, the more capable they are for the operation of this consuming and transforming Love... A mere desire to be a victim is enough, but one must agree to remain poor and powerless, and that is the difficult part because “where can one find a truly poor of spirit? One must search far away,” says the psalmist.6 He does not say that it must be searched among great souls, but “far away” – meaning in humility, in nothingness... Oh! Let us remain far away from everything that glitters, let us love our littleness, the fact that we feel nothing. Then we will be poor in spirit and Jesus will come to us.7 May we be far away, He will transform us into flames of love... Oh, how I wish to help you understand what I feel...! Trust, and nothing but trust will lead us to Love... Fear does not lead to strict justice, which sinners dread, nor to Justice, which Jesus will establish for those who love Him?... So when we see the way, let us run together. Yes, I feel it, Jesus wants to give us the same graces, wants to give us Heaven for free.
My beloved little sister, if you do not understand me, it is because you are too great a soul... or because I express myself poorly. For I am certain that the Lord God would not have given you the desire to be entirely His,8 to be in the power of His merciful Love, if He did not reserve this favor for you... Or rather, He has already given it to you because you are entrusted to Him, because you desire to be consumed by Him and because God never gives desires that He cannot fulfill...
It’s ringing, it’s 9 o’clock, I must leave you, oh how much I wish to tell you, but Jesus will make you feel everything I cannot write...
I love you with all the tenderness of my little THANKFUL heart of a childThérèse of the Child Jesus
Thus, the important thing is “infinite trust” in God and his mercy, which Thérèse cultivates in her heart and of which she mentioned in this letter earlier. But desires for martyrdom are not the source of this trust...
(Continued in the next issue.)
